Moving Days

Here in Madison, as probably in many other large university towns, there is a special season of time when every curb has abandoned desks and drawers, every apartment complex is proclaiming “FOR RENT!” and the availability of boxes decreases exponentially . . . It’s moving season: all the leases are up either August 1 or August 15th. 

Suddenly, I have arrived at this point where I have only a week left in my apartment.  Oh yes, it’s yet another “significant time in my life.”  There have been a lot of those this year—which isn’t surprising when it’s your first big move to a new city.  Sometimes it makes me nauseous, spending another week in my life feeling the weight and significance of yet another milestone, the grind of times’ gears . . . ehhh, you know what I’m saying. 

I remember when I first got into this apartment.  The first night I fell asleep in my own bed with no parents or friends to think about.  I remember when Dave finally got there, and how unreal and wonderful it felt to have his parents leave and it just be the two of us, off and sleeping away our first night together in Madison.  I think we both had a lot of miscellaneous hopes and dreams for our life together.  I don’t need to get into what they were, especially not now. 

I’m in all honesty very glad to get out of my apartment.  I’ve got a big problem with places getting too haunted for me.  Hiram College was that way, what with every walkway walked a hundred times and every bench the seat for some undergrad drama.  Home in West Virginia is even worse.  And this apartment makes me uneasy.  At best, I’ve had some good night’s sleep.  That first night was pretty nice.  But now it’s crowded and messy and every once and awhile I open the door and say “Hellooo!” and imagine there’s Dave popping out from behind the column to yell “NEEEewwwt!” 

Last time I was home, mom said that friends are there for you when times are hard, but they expect you to get over things, and when you do, they expect you to move on.  Once again, she’s right.  And I have moved on.  But I do go back every once and awhile.  And these times of great change are big on the going back.  You want to go back to where you understood what you had and what you wanted, and the value of those things. 

So I’m getting ready to move.  I’m changing addresses and utility bills and such.  Getting ready to put things into boxes.  I’m sorry the references are so heavy-handed.  But things are looking up.  This is never easy, so I’ll just see you all on the other side of the week, no?

Waiting to Exhale is a movie I've never seen, so any reference I make to it isn't particularly strong or well-founded
 
But man, that's kindof how life feels right now.  Ok, maybe not really.  Things just seem pretty surreal and haunted and good. 
 
Work isn't hard, but that's because suddenly I'm reading papers, and getting the sickening feeling I should be doing something more and somehow synthesizing what I'm reading into something presentable to Ned.  I honestly get alot of joy from starting out with a subject I don't know much about, accumulating a small hoarde of papers, and becoming an expert if I can.  But it's not an easy, or really tangible thing.  And it gets boring sometimes.  But I have a project, and it's mine to be an authority on.  Just have to keep focusing at least daily, and maybe start writing.
 
Life is really very good.  I just picked up my brother at the bus station, and JEBUS it's so good to see him.  He's my first best friend, and I forget how much I miss him until he's around.  We're only two years apart, so we get along pretty well, and get to vent about the craziness of our parents, and compare notes on games and movies and the internet. 
 
And of course, there's alot of sappy stuff I'm not posting.  Ben is a good, good thing. 
 
I don't know, in general things just seem weird.  Some times I just look up from whatever I'm doing and think "So THIS is my life! oh!"  It is not where I would've predicted it.  And I'm sure I'm going to have some choice moments in the future that will make me question it again and again.  But it's a great place to be.
 
Finally, we've got a storm advisory up,  and MAYBE Don will see some exciting weather!
 

The grand pitfalls of having a willful imagination

Came home yesterday, and as I jammed the key to my apartment into the lock and turned, I realized the door was not locked. Hadn't been locked all day probably.

I don't know how anyone else reacts to this sort of thing, but for me, it means going through each closet, curtained shower, and meager underbed storage space to make sure nobody is waiting there to pop out and get me. Now honestly, the entire time I did the apartment-sweep, I was thinking about how unlikely it was that anyone even knew the place was unlocked. Even more unlikely that they'd stay just to harass me when they could pick up my television, engagement ring, or any other number of valuables and just leave.

But there's no arguing with that squelching little portion of my brain that's seen too many horror movies and news stories, and is also a girl. This is NOT to say that girls are inherently paranoid or wimpy or ANYTHING of the sort. I just think alot of us get raised to be convinced, on some level, that people are continually out to get us. And I have run in to very intelligent men who just don't get that. ooh, and this is a subject I could go on waaaay too long about.

In general, life is good. Thanks to Sharon, I have a wireless card in my laptop and can now check e-mail and chat and do other fun non-work related things at work. Good and bad. I'm amazed that my laptop (circa 1999) is still working without huge problems, aside from the fact the monitor adapter doesn't recognize whatever videocard I'm running on, and so I get to view everything in 16 colors total, and the resolution is all borked. It's probably time to get a new laptop, which is fun shopping--although admittedly I don't know nearly as much as I'd like to about computer shopping. I've been a little, errr, reliant on others for just about as long as I can remember when it comes to computer buying. But for now, I've got my eye on the Dell Inspiron 5150, which seems to be decent price and mixing business with pleasure happily. . . now if I could just locate MONEY. . . ahh, the eternal struggle.

Holiday Weekend

Well, I woke up at noon this morning, and found a note each from Mom and Debbie thanking me for letting them stay and showing them around Madison. It was weighted down with a HUGE bottle of white wine. My apartment is now cleaner than it ever was when it was just me. My garbage has been taken out too. God Bless those ladies!

I had a wonderful time having mom and Debbie here. I was a little worried beforehand, because sometimes being with mom for too long can be a bad thing for both of us. I get short tempered, more than I should. But they were like two college girls, giggling and cooking and watching movies in my living room. They loved my friends, gave me valuable insights on them and also prodded me to talk about romance and why Dave and I didn't work out and what my plans are for the future. Moms have that great skill to sweep aside small talk and ask the things you're embarassed to talk about--and lord knows you can't say no.