Sometimes cowardice is overcome by friends

I think it was some time last week that I avowed to Alice that I would go to one of the two gyms on campus and at the very least explore it. See, I'm paying huge student fees (not voluntarily) every semester, which allows me free access to said huge gyms. And on top of that, I'm totally losing any shape I had gained from Jiu Jitsu. . . . martial arts forms classes . . . life up until now. . .yeah. So I was doing the oldest dance in the body image book: clothes that used to fit don't anymore, some days look good in the mirror and others really really don't.

Put off going to the gym out of fear--I mean, I've never really worked out in a gym. I don't know where I'm supposed to put things, or what shoes to wear where. . .silly things really, but scary enough that I didn't make the trek to either. So today I just gave up and asked Rose and Kendall if I could tag along with them to a fitness class. Which really meant I got to follow them through the doors, locker rooms, etc. and have at least one pathway that was "OK" to follow to the class.

The class itself was a cardio aerobics class, and I agree with Kendall that maybe all that bouncing isn't so much fun. But it was challenging and I felt like I got a chance to work out alot of frustration that has been building up over the weeks. And this morning I wake up feeling a little strained, but accomplished.

Man, hokey and perhaps more personal than interesting, but what the hell.

Other than that. . .still driftin a bit. Our lab's all finished, and the lab tech is supposed to be in soon. Our phone's workin'. . .so I'm almost ready to settle in.

And other than THAT . . . life's pretty quiet, because the work hasn't started being due.

Daaaaaaance the night awayeeee

Well, this week I think I came as close to being a depressive as possible. Ok, that sounds really overdramatic, but you have to understand I'm typically decently upbeat, and getting too depressed can be really disturbing, mainly because you don't always know how to get out of it.

It's been a hard little break. I don't think it could've been any other way, since I would inevitably become bored unless I was working, and working would've stressed me out. Ach, this is all babble. On to the good stuff.

I panicked because I thought that I was way behind on getting things lined up for research/work during the spring semester. I talked to Sarah, who's also going to be in the lab, and found out she was in the same boat. I know we all think it so fantastic to be independent thinkers, to follow what we think is right in our hearts. . . but sometimes it's just good to know you are in the same position as someone else, especially someone you respect. So things are better there.

I went to a party thrown by some of the older kids in the Microbiology program, and actually had a really good time. Started out not knowing anyone but the 1st years, and inevitably met a *few* new people. Not many, but it's a start. Also got to make a great joke about the pineapples soaked in rum by saying "I'm a little soaked in rum myself" or some other nonsense. But I made some girls laugh, so that's pretty impressive. I can be happy being the goofy one. I don't think I have much of a choice anyway.

I also learned that I'm much better at doing the hustle if I'm tipsy. But not too tipsy, because that dance involves alot of spinning around, ala Saturday Night Fever. For the 2nd night in a row, Roger and Andy and I have gone out dancing at The Cardinal. Last night was salsa night, which made for some challenging dancing, because I don't have much ballroom/couples dance experience. Sure, I can shake my booty, I can even get the steps right--but trying to follow somebody's lead, that's hard. Last night we had dancing pro's Andy, Jess, and Sharon. Of course this lead to the slightly awkward girl/guy ratio of 2 guys to 3 girls. Tonight was 80's night, and it was tremendously better for me. First off, 80's dancing is great because you just need to sort of bounce and flail about--white people can still look good at this dance. And it's versatile because you can bounce or do the twist or just. .. .well flail about. Good example of this is the dancing scene in "The Breakfast Club."

Anyway, apparently you can do the hustle to almost any 80's dance, and apparently I'm pretty darn good at this dance, at least if I've got andy to lead. Although admittedly I won 50 points for knocking his glasses off. I really want to get better at all these dances, not just because it would be fun and I'd have some activity in my life, but also because it would really help these dance nights if I could take someone who couldn't dance and show them how, just as Andy does. I can follow, but that means that Andy has to teach us all every night, and Andy's not dancing with the guys. I strive for equality! Also, I'd like to be able to dance without having to always be thinking how to anticipate the next move and not clothesline the guy. My deadly accuracy for the neck isn't as useful outside of Jiu Jitsu.

Mini Rant: We, the youth of america, have somehow missed out on social dancing. Any european, and perhaps south american person typically you kick your ass when it comes to dancing. To them it's all so natural, and we have all these hangups about it. What went wrong? When did we get it into our heads that only pop stars and cheerleaders dance? Dancing is FUN. Social dancing is fun on several levels, because you:

1. Get out of your house
2. Get to dance to the music (aka be active, which I'm trying to do more of)
3. Get to act like HOT STUFF

Really, I'd say only 25% of dancing at the most is about actual dancing skill/ footwork. Ok, rhythm is pretty important too. But the great majority of dancing, imho, is having a good time and letting it show. Even if you dance like Elaine, if you dance with a sense of humor it doesn't really look that bad. Carry yourself like hot stuff that's having a fantastic time, and you've got it. Unless it's industrial techno, or moshing. . . but that's a whole other story.

Anyhow, I'd like to keep up the dancing, as well as get more people involved in it somehow. I'm just really tired of feeling my body go to crrrap before my very eyes, you know? Ech, anyhow.

I drove home with the roads covered with ice! I RULE!!!

A little somthin' somethin' before I sleep

Not much happening, but I saw "Big Fish" today, and I highly recommend it. The least dark of the Tim Burton movies, to be sure, but amazingly whimsical without being silly. I really, really loved it. I also love Ewan, oh yes. I went with some microbio friends, and we went to perkins for pie afterwards. That was pretty much my day.

Every time it comes to be tuesday, some of us joke about going to Fetish Night at one of the local bars. I suggested that, to fit in a bit better, we could go as a medium-sized group and all wear labcoats, and proclaim ourselves to have a "geek fetish." To me, this is all fun talk, because really if I had to put money on it, I'd say there are only a few people who would actually go and have a good time. Being the AVID people watcher and self-proclaimed geek fetishist (is that a word?) that I am, I'm working up courage slowly. Madison is just full of freakiness, and I'd be sad to leave regretting never seeing such an event. I also eventually want to get a little group for Rocky Horror sometime, but that also isn't for most people.

But all this led me to some websearching for proper etiquette for these sorts of events, and I ran across this site, which is great fun to peruse, and work safe. I'm not even close to being anything like goth unless you count my love of darker clothing, but I think what this lady has to say could apply to everybody, freaky and non freaky, geeky and nongeeky. So enjoy!

Another week's reprieve!

On thursday, I think, I realized it was like, the 8th and not the 15th. . . which rocked alot. I go back to class on approximately the 20th. SO basically 2/3 of this month is all mine to slack off horribly. I can't change that, so I should stop whining about it.

My most constructive acts for the month so far are doing all my laundry + packing up the warm-weather clothes, and beating Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. And now I'm reading Stephen King's "Dream Catcher" because I got it for x-mas and it's GOOD. And I liked the movie too, YEAH.

In other news, my gluttonous sleep continues :) wake up time ranges from noon tilll 2:30. Dave even attempted to wake me up earlier with the smells of breakfast. . .I did wake up then but I figured if it was for me, he'd wake me up , so I missed the point of him opening the door and wafting in the smells--I missed it completely. But it was ok, I had a dream that I travelled back in time to highschool--for the first time it was a good thing. I looked just like highschool me, and I wasn't really in class.

My mission was to talk to my best friend Angela--who in real life I haven't seen for YEARS. It was like I hopped into my highschool self and tried to send a message to Angela. It seemed to constitute "This is Amber, but I'm from 2004. I'm 22 now." and then I tried to let her know what a good friend she was and how I didn't want to lose her like I already did.

It's pretty sad. One of those dreams that you wake up feeling profound. I felt like maybe, just maybe I really did go back and time and Angela will call today. Dreams like that, the ones that feel real, are WEIRD.

See, this is why I can't enjoy a freakin' vacation

Admittedly, I find this pretty funny. I hurried myself back to Madison, thinking there were going to be a million things to do and take care of, and then I got here and realized that class doesn't started till the 20th, and most folks aren't coming back till at least mid next week. Which isn't that far NOW, but it was far last week. . . And I'm completely embedded in procrastination.

I should somehow get my spring semester settled. See,

1. The lab I'm going to work in won't really be ready till, at best, March.

2. We are supposed to be in a lab directly after February, so at least there the two coincide.


What's tempting is to just take advantage of the extra time between now and March. Alternatively, I could either keep working in my last lab rotation lab on a cool, but unrelated project. OR I could get my ass together and start formulating my project that i can perhaps start working on in someone else's lab until our lab is ready. I'd prefer the latter only because I could get started on some thesis work instead of losing time.

Ok, so Amber needs to start the e-mails again. To my advisor, to the department secretary, oh yeah, and to my rotation PI's to let them know what my decision is. I also need to mail Sam & Barrie's christmas presents, because I keep forgetting to go to Parcels Plus when it's open. I also need to contact evil Huntington bank and tell them to shut down my freakin' checking account because I haven't used it for a year. Eventually determine when I need to change registration, etc. to count as a resident of WI--the car is in both mom and my names, so maybe it can stay for awhile. Need to change the oil again. Need to do my laundry, as well as put all my clothes and toiletries back where they belong. Return my lab notebook to the lab, after making sure it's complete. Get my character sheet for D&D printed out and re-organized. . . .blargh.

And despite having a whole week alone just to accomplish the petty stuff, I feel overwhelmed again, and end up not wanting to do anything but sleep too much, eat too much, and play Zelda: Majora's Mask.

I AM ON VACATION!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!! And it's not any fun, because even now I'm not on vacation. But I'm whining. It's in my hands to get all this stuff done.

Also, I have no money, and I want to go sledding but don't have a short but warm coat for sledding. Damn. Also don't have a sled, or anyone who'd want to go sledding with me. Do I even have a hill to sled on?!