This Is Nothing

Insane Graduate School Edition

2/18/2009

Todayís weather is foggy, snowy. Quiet. And thatís really ok with me. I fully realize that life-craziness is highly dependant on both outside and internal forces: sometimes outside craziness just rolls off your back, and sometimes it hooks into you like a burr. Last week it was just too hard to shake off the stress. Iím not trying to say my life is crazier than yours, more that I was having trouble shaking it last week.

And Iím not saying, really, that this week is any easier. External forces remain constant: writing a journal article, trying to move my project forward. Practicing how to teach bellydance, learning 3 separate choreographies . . . beginning to design my own choreography for the first time. Iím still immersing myself in the self-help section of the bookstore, learning to embrace my introverted self and stop brushing my right-brain-ness to the side. In tiny microsteps Iím trying to move my career exploration further. That is starting to gel a bit, so Iím waiting to see if I feel the same way as the days pass over it. I might have an idea, the vaguest hint of a plan. My worryóas with all decisions I makeóis that my mind will change and Iíll be trapped somewhere I donít want to be.

My freewill astrology horoscope is exciting this week, and maybe Iíll apply the idea to this whole life-path thing:

"Dear Rob: In my dream last night, I was playing with a lion in my garden. Suddenly it jumped up, put its paws on my shoulders, and got face-to-face with me. I realized it could either swallow my head or kiss me. I was excited by the possibility of the kiss and also scared because I sensed it wanted something from me but I didn't know what. Can you offer any insight? -Leo in Limbo." Dear Leo: A lot of Leos are dealing with themes like this right now. Here's how I'd sum them up: The thing that's most appealing to you happens to be wild. You need to exercise caution even as you go forward to engage with it more intimately. Just as you want something from it, it's asking for something in return. You'll have to know exactly what that is in order to protect yourself from its wildness.

What does the wild thing want?

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