January just isn’t my favorite month. Ok, aside from my lil’ sis being born in it. I think the most positive thing I can remember about January was when I was in undergrad and, after a long, boring time at home in WV I couldn’t wait to get back to Hiram.

After all the fuss, the parties of the holiday season, January’s kindof a letdown, isn’t it? I mean, looking forward to the New Year was great because you could see all the great things you could do in the next year. . . but without having to actually DO them.

Frankly, January—and February for that matter—are my least favorite months of the year. Especially in Wisconsin, it’s just two months of cold and snow that I have to bear out to get to Spring. Although Spring doesn’t come in March, really, but still.

And I guess with the last three paragraphs I’ve kicked around, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t like living in this month or the next. I mean, geez, I know that there are all these amazing things ahead this year for us. The Obama presidency for one! Signs are looking good for Andy to graduate this year, which is a huge awesome thing.

What I’m struggling with is where I fit in to 2009. Will I finish my PhD this year? Will I find a job? What path am I going to take? Is it going to be Academia? Biotech? Clinical? Am I going to leave the bench entirely and just write or be a florist or something? Yeah, here’s 2009 in a nutshell for me, currently:

???

It should be exciting. Oh heck, it WILL be exciting. But for right now it kindof makes me, well, ill with the uncertainy of it. Truth is, I really like to be in control of everything, even though that’s impossible. And it’s silly because all of this will bear out one way or another, and it will very likely turn out just fine. Maybe it’s just the immensity of it all, because this year is a transitional year, and I just can’t figure out where I fit into it yet.

Oh well, it will be March before I know it.