I feel like my life hums in and out of a solid, coherent state. Some days everything is just too much and I want to hide underneath my blanket and cry. There is too much to do, not enough time to do it, and it should have been done months ago. Other times I feel as efficient as a machine, getting a million things done in one day, checking items off the list. What was I so worried about? I think to myself. This is doable, and now is the perfect time for each task. This Monday was really efficient for me. I came in early, and used the extra time to tie up random loose ends that have accumulated over the weeks:
Sending out the next e-mail for Life Sciences Career Day
Moving an experiment to completion
Ordering lots of items that are running low in lab
Getting our 2008 taxes near completion
Sending out all the birthday cards that needed sending
Updating the jewelry insurance
Sorting random junk mail
Days like that remind me that I’m happiest when I’m busy. Sometimes I bully myself about not getting enough done, and that’s unfair. I think I expect to get more done than is humanly possible, and I can’t often meet my silly standards. Maybe someday we’ll meet in the middle. I’m just hoping this “getting’ it done” phase lasts for a while longer. I’ve got so much to do it hurts, you know? Then again, so does everyone else.
My current, sudden passion is crochet, which happened by chance: at the shimmy workshop the teacher had this fantastic hip belt that was a fantastic array of yarn colors and textures, creating a fringe belt that was, yes, a bit muppet-like but ultimately cheerful with great movement. Researching that kind of belt online I was able to determine its construction: the belt base is crocheted, and then all the various yarns are attached to the loops of the crochet. So I decided to teach myself how, and within two days I’ve kinda gone off the deep end. I’ve lost myself to it for hours at a time, and it’s wonderful to have the brain so occupied, so consumed that it can’t get overwhelmed by the rest of life. But of course you can’t ignore the rest of life forever. We’ll see how long this current passion lasts: I love starting projects more than keeping with them.
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