So first off: weird dreams again. At least, I forgot to mention the mystical convergence of me dreaming that I married an Indian guy (and then ran away quietly before the reception, and got a tear-filled answering machine message from him later that evening, asking why I wasn't there, because I had made a promise to be) and Ben dreaming that I left him for an Indian guy.
So what the hell does that mean anway? I get suspicious of my brain sometimes. I think it doesn't take kindly to being stuck in my head day in and day out, and so it spends MUCHO time procuring ways to fuck with me.
*shakes fist in anger at brain*
I was really proud of myself on Wednesday. It was sort of a nervous day at first, because I was scheduled to meet with one of my thesis committee members, and so had to have subsequent nightmares about not having the answers to any questions she would ask. But instead of being an awkward first meeting like so many of my recruitment interviews had been, this was a whirl of new ideas and solutions to the problems I was having in lab, and renewed excitement about my project goals and the BIG PICTURE. I went away with a grin so big it really did hurt for awhile.
I got everything I wanted to accomplish in lab done, and I even caught mistakes that I might not have caught on any other day. I ate exactly as much food as I wanted to eat at Pizza Hut, and didn't go blow money on used DVD's at the Resale store. At home, I read Poisonwood Bible (SO FREAKING GOOD) until I was sleepy, and then went off to dream much nicer things.
So this is my anti-rant. I'm not having an ecstatically good day, but I am really content with how good a day yesterday was. I'm shedding stress, which is one of my biggest goals in my immediate life. So much of what I've done in the past has been motivated by fear and anxiety, and I don't want to do that anymore. I have the brains to be equally good at my profession, so I should stop freaking out and beating myself up for not knowing things--I've got to discuss what I know unapologetically, and just plain ask about things when I don't know, instead of just pretending I do. I've got to stop freaking out about everything, and let myself actually enjoy all the good stuff.
I don't know, it all seems so "duh" and simple, but I think maybe I'm only really starting to understand it now. Take care everyone!
Oh, and I found this quiz thanks to Rhett!
You are 45% geek | You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.
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