Sunday, May 23, 2004

I didn't know the bride when she used to rock n' roll

So, as you may or may not know, I am in West Virginia for the week. I arrived LATE on friday, and I'll go back to Madison this follwing Friday.

WV is swampy right now. So very much hotter than Wisconsin seems capable of, but maybe even more lush and lovely. Being home is always surreal, but at least this time it's an attractive sort of dreaminess, what with all the things blooming and people graduating and marrying.

And that was part of the reason for being home this week. One of the girls I've known since kindergarten sunday school, Krissy, got married yesterday. After all the dramatic weather of Friday, Saturday was calm enough to have the ceremony outside at Oglebay Park--Same place I had my prom pictures taken way back when. It's all richly landscaped and rolling hills and such. A beautiful wedding dress, a beautiful wedding.

I'm not going to lie and say that it wasn't hard to see someone close to my age get married. I'm also not going to jump into heavy-handed comparisons between me: an ex-fiancee, and her: a blissfully happy bride. You can imagine how it was for me, and so why wade you through it? My mom's friends made sure to come over and tell me they were all proud of me and my decision, and that was strengthening.

I've spent the last two days wearing alot of skirts and heels, which has been strange--a combination of weddings and church services. I went dress-shopping with my sister and my mother yesterday, and I was just amazed to be shopping for Liz. We wear the same size now, and she's just beyond beautiful. Suddenly I have this sister who is 5'8" with dark blonde hair and blue eyes, and a tan I'm contiually envious of. Everyone tells her how stunning and tall and lovely she is, and so I take it as a compliment when they accidentally call ME Liz. Time goes by even faster when you have younger siblings.

Am I happy to be home? In some ways yes. It's beautiful out, everyone seems happy to see me, and I have no work to possibly do. But when you've spent so many years in one place, it gets haunted. Doesn't everyone have somewhere like that in their lives? There are so many memories wedged in between the trees and the faces of old school friends--it's a little unnerving. This never seems like a place I want to stay for long, and it makes me miss my new life and the person I am there. But I'm not sad, or upset to be here. Just unsettled in sometimes pleasing and othertime uncomfortable ways.

If you should want to get a hold of me, call me on the cell phone which has an area code 608 then there is those next three digits 469 and then finally 8083.

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