Epic Weekend. Small Post.

I'm kindof dissapointed in myself for not recording more of what has happened over the weekend. Really, though, Friday was a one of those days so crammed full of experiences that you can hardly believe most of the things actually happened. Actually, I tried to sit down earlier today and recount how Friday played out, but I ended up getting bored with it. And if I find it boring, it's pretty darn likely you'll all zone out even earlier than right now. Besides, I'm still on the epic quest to get some good sleep. Lord knows the weekend wasn't going to hold much of it (NOT complaining).

I believe one of my millions of horoscopes for the weekend said to remain open to the possibility of meeting new people--and certainly this ended up being a good weekend to try that sort of thing out. I went to at least 3 events where I met new people, and still managed to hang out with my own crew of micro students. I also supported the great cause of gay marriage rights by attending a benefit concert. I heard wonderously good live music, especially from If Then Else. I danced and danced and danced some more too!

My friday, after the usual dinner-with-friends, roamed about Madison with the incomparable Ben. It must be said that it is through him I have experienced nights that lasted till 3AM. Late-night stumbles back from the capitol back to the dorms with all sorts of interesting people wandering state street. The people I have met recently are so terribly cool in comparison to me, I feel like. But it just puts me in a state of some awe. Sitting in a beaten up couch on the 3rd floor attic of someone's house, watching people leap happily to music or take nice soothing drags of substances I haven't smelled since junior high. . . .all I could keep thinking was wonderlandwonderlandwonderland.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a huge stranger to any sort of night life that didn't involve staying indoors with five people or less. In Wheeling, and in Hiram, it was a rare thing for a large group of young people to get together for ANYTHING. So when I get to go to clubs or to dance parties, part of me just wants to sit in a corner and smile happily, watching all these people my age enjoy eachother's company. It still excites me to no end to see people wandering around campus in large drunken numbers at 3 in the morning. So I'm in wonder still. There are people dressed like true geeks, punks, creative people. Beautiful ranges of people.

Still, deep down I sometimes feel like some alien hidden in a human body, watching everything on earth with excitement--observing--but never really feeeling a part of anything or anyone. When I get insecure, this feeling gets worse. I'll sit and stare off into nothing and wonder where I am, and who I am. These are questions I never felt like I had to ask myself before now. Isn't that funny? I mean, these are big questions you think I would've gotten around to asking myself some time in the last 22 years. But no. So now, sometimes I feel lost. I don't know where my life is going, but I'm still continually amazed by it.

Wow, this has really been an abstract post. I'm sorry I have nothing specific to report. Alot of me drinking and dancing, and that's better witnessed than recounted.