On Being Adult

As far as I can tell, and I'm likely ripping off Hallmark or something. . . becoming an adult means confronting things that, as a child, you never imagined you would have to confront. Sometimes it's little things, like doing taxes or changing your oil. Sometimes, it's bigger things too, like deaths in the family or starting a new life on your own.

If anything, this week, this month, this semester has been about becoming a shade more adult. I'm definitely not claiming to have made such vast improvements as to be a true adult, or even that I've made improvement at all. It's more that my perspective certainly shifted again. I feel like I'm finally in some control of my life. It's still tinged with alot of underlying, untouched sadness, but there's alot of sweetness to life right now.

Friday night, I introduced a guy I've been dating, Ben, to my friends. And I was so nervous that the micro kids wouldn't like him, or that he'd be in a little shell around new people. But it was warm and friendly and I met HIS friends too. A great evening at the Cardinal--even got to dance to "Like A Prayer" by Madonna, which requires much girly-like belting out and smiles.

Saturday, we micro folks went on a little picnic at Picnic Point (appropriate). I brought sandwhich meat, cheese, bread, and Ben (who brought girlscout cookies). We had quite the feast! After that, Sarah and I went over to St. Vincent DePaul and I bought some awesome button-down dress shirts (for layering), two t-shirts (one concert shirt and one turquoise shirt that has "Join the Celebration" in pink lettering, a bulletin board, a clipboard, and a glass with a lobster on it. I am still very excited about the prospect of clothes being sold a dollar per pound. Then it was home to make dip for Rhett and Jeremy's party, and then obviously off to the party. I was happy to get some time to chat with both Sharon and Andy, because seems like I don't often get that chance, and I love my Pisces.

Sunday morning, I had breakfast at Ella's Deli on the east side with Cindy and Sam (my mom's 1st cousins) who live in upstate Wisconsin. It was suprisingly welcome to hear about all my relatives on mom's side and how they are all doing. Babies, puppies, and new houses. I didn't tell them about me and Dave. Even when I went home and talked to mom on the phone, I just couldn't bring it up. Mom sounds so happy. I don't want to start down that road, but I need to.

I helped clean up the apartment and paid my bills, and went out to lunch with Dave to Babe's--where we inevitably talk out some serious stuff but also just check in on one another. So once I was back out onto campus I felt pretty free from responsibility for the day, which was good. Part of what amazes me about this life is that I have to learn to relax and let go more often than I have to focus and perform. I spent the afternoon/evening watching Space Ghost (Bears and Sharks: Nature's Best Friends!), wandering state street and grabbing a delicious dinner at Tutto Pasta. Recently, it's been alot of flashbacks to undergrad: involving watching cartoons and passing out in those accursed extra-long dorm twin mattresses, as well as playing alot of video games. From a literary perspective, I really like the obvious contrast that life has written in for now. Undgrad vs Graduate, uptight vs. rule-breaking, planning versus living in the now.

According to the horrorscopes, this next week will be much less traumatic, and focusing on relationships, family relations, home & garden, and general spirtual healing. I truly like the sound of that. Here's to a new week!