It's not what you are like. . .

It's WHAT you like that matters, according to the protagonist in "High Fidelity" by Nick Hornsby. Today it just hit home harder than usual.

Today in general was quiet. . helped out with mom's preschool class. Came home. Watched "FAME" and liked it (I'll confess I like the trash). Got a call from Dave K. letting me know their were plans on for later that night. Dave was kind enough to pick me up, and we drove out to St. Clairesville to BW3's for wing night.

We were supposed to meet Jonah, Chad, Jessica, and Lauren (all fellow highschool graduates of John Marshall HS). So we told the lady we needed a table for 7, when only two of us were there. So. . .we sat there alone for about 1 hour, trying to keep conversation going. I'm not trying to play this off as unpleasant, because I was thankful to be out and talking to my own age group, and Dave K makes conversation easy by continually coming up with new topics, whereas I am a lazy conversationalist and prefer to just let people tell me what they want to. But it made me lonely for my Hiram friends. I like who I am around them: weird, lewd, and weird again. But around the highschool folks, I always feel distanced and all-around reserved. That's my fault, but it's always so suprising at first.

The rest of the folks arrived eventually, and I found out Chad is going to do a 10 week internship in Nicoragua (sp?) with the US embassy. He's always doing things so impressive they easily top my adventures. I'm not jealous, just amazed to the point of laughter. I know a guy who's been to peace talks in Northern Ireland, and somewhere in Africa, and now he's off to South America.

It was a good evening--I ate wings for the first time and found them thoroughly delicious. Talked with Chad, and Jessica as well (i've known here since Kindergarten). They all decided to go to Jonah's house next, however I'm helping mom with preschoolers again, so I asked Dave K if he'd just drop me off at home. So we drove back the 20 minute drive to my house, and on the way I got to pick out a CD to listen to. I opened the case, flipped through it, and realized I only had only heard one band in the entire case.

Perhaps it struck me as metaphorical. Because if what is important is NOT what we are like, but WHAT we like. . . Then Dave K and I really are very different people. It may deserve the slight backstory that I had a crush on him from kindergarten through 3rd grade, and then from my junior year of highschool right through till college. We dated the last summer before college, and it was a surreal and wonderful time. And yes, I loved him dearly. But we didn't talk a whole lot, except about upcoming college. I never felt very comfortable around him. I always felt like I had something to prove to him. Where am I going with this?

CD case. . . I enjoy hanging out with Dave K, just like I look forward to hanging out with Chris, or any other guy that I've dated, not because I want a date, but because I liked them as people already before anyone made a move. I picked the Red Hot Chili Peppers CD. Apparently it's a band we have in common. But that's about it. Eventually, I always end up missing MY Dave, becuase we have always been comfortable enough with eachother to be the goofs we really are. It isn't anyone else's fault if we're not around someone else; it's just how we are.

Wow, it's late and this entry isn't too cohesive. Sorry!