Amber loses her faith in movies

I watched "Ringu" yesterday--the original Japanese suspsense/horror flick that "The Ring" is based off of. I enjoyed The Ring. It was legitimately disturbing without any hacking or popping out of dark corners. I was under the impression that "Ringu", being the original movie, would be superior. I mean, whenever we Americans make our version of a foreign film, we tend to mess it up; maybe just so that someone can say "Oh, the original one was SOOO much better."

Well, I'm hear to tell you that, while certainly a good idea for a horror movie, and definitely more mood-driven than actual horror. . .don't waste your hard-earned money on "Ringu." It left me craving the American version, which although really spotty in the storyline, has EXCELLENT imagery that sticks with you when you try to close your eyes and go to sleep (and THAT is a good horror movie, imho).

I wanna be a pirate!

I don't know. . . I don't think I'm the only one out there who has been rather dissapointed with movies lately. In March, it seemed like there were alot of great movies on the way. A new Matrix installment and T3 both looked supremely promising. . . .

But I saw T3, and was happy to watch it, but left unsatisfied. The minute The Terminator said "Talk to the Hand" I felt myself die a little inside, as a lover of movies.

In the middle of all this business in my own life about becoming older and more adult, I was beginning to worry that part of getting older would be that movies would stop being so wonderous. I mean, I remember how I felt the first time I watched ALIENS or Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom. And you can't get that feeling back for the movie after you've deflowered it. I remember how I got sucked right into Jurassic Park to where I thought I could smell the triceratops dung, and I remember how unsastisfying Lost World was after that. . . it's depressing.

I thought, maybe I'm getting older and my imagination is going. . . until I saw "Pirates of the Carribean"

Quite frankly, this is the best fucking movie of the year 2003 (so far, as there's still another LOTR movie in the fall). Admittedly, I'm biased because I love all things pirate, and have ever since I rode the ride "pirates of the carribean" at Disney World. It's my favorite ride. If I close my eyes I can smell the damp air and hear the pirates singing now. . . It's locked in my memory.

The movie version is good for many various reasons, but the main reason is this: whoever worked on this film loved the genre and respected the audience enough to make a quality movie.

Now here's my top ten reasons why you should go see this movie:

10. Johnny Depp is totally edible. Ok, so if you're a guy that doesn't quite do it for you, same goes for maybe if he doesn't do it for ya. But on an acting level, I'm majorly impressed. Dave and I agree that he was able to be this totally strange and affected character--not act strange, BE strange. And he wears eyeliner.

9. Orlando Bloom can actually be something other than Legolas . . . although don't expect much more than good sword fighting from him.

8. The genius of creating a movie based on an amusement park ride just ripples me with pleasure. An actual, new idea. And they incorporate many famous scenes from the ride into the movie, but they do it SEAMLESSLY (without going "hey look! here's a scene from the ride!). And the nostalgic value is amazing.

7. Kudos to the creators of this movie for having sword fighting scenes that are full of swash-buckling without weird effects. As great as "Crouching Tiger. . ." was, afterwards everyone and their mother thought a complex, gravity-defying fight scene was required for it to be considered good action. The fights scenes in "pirates" are inventive but most of all BELIEVABLE.

6. The movie grabs the best of the pirates cliches, both funny and dramatic. Ports of call overrun by brawling pirates and cannons a firing!

5. The curse in the movie is a really good curse. Good as in, you wouldn't want to be cursed with it. But not a simple curse. That would've been lame.

4. The cursed pirates aren't just corpses trying to kill people--they are clever, personal, and you actually like them.

3. Nothing in this movie is stupid. There is only one possibly dumb one-liner, but its forgivable.

2. This movie will make you want to be a pirate. I'm so fucking sick of more recent movies that seem to have the sole purpose of being 'realistic' to the point of showing how brutal the life of a pirate is. I don't want to see a movie that makes me go "man, scurvy was lame, I don't think I want to be a pirate anymore." I want a movie that makes me crave the open sea!!!

1. Zombies who are also Pirates. . . what the heck more could you ask for!? Maybe if they were Ninjas I guess. .