Monday, June 23, 2003

Enneagram
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Type Four
The Individualist
The introspective, romantic type. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

A good, old-fashioned Monday

BLARGH. I knew monday was supposed to be a big day. After all, I was going to do amazing things, like close out my educational trust for car-buying booty, and hopefully get some clues for financing a car loan from the lady who had overseen my trust for many years. So I got up nice n' early and put on a cute skirt that I can't wear at home because Mocha the puppy chews on the hems. Then found out that dad had something in his eye, and had actually requested to go to the hospital--so we knew this injury must be serious, as dad is the kind of guy who cleans bleeding headwounds with a toothbrush and antiseptic and crazyglues it shut. He is famous for not going to hospitals. Quickly, priorities for the day were changing from minute to minute. Lots of things happened, so I'll go for a shortened overview:

Bad stuff
First off, turns out that closing out a trust fund takes a full month to complete--so all this time I've been waiting to sell of the remaining stock, I could've been putting things in motion. I won't have my own car money till my birthday. I went up to my room and cried for about 15 minutes, because I'm SO freaking tired of waiting for one thing to be in order, only to find out I have to wait for something else before I can even get a set of wheels. Went to the bank to at least drop off a letter to offically express my wishes to close out the account, and the lady wasn't there, so I couldn't ask her if she could recommend anyone for a car loan. She just got back from vacation and is too swamped.

The prize for today, though, goes to my Grandpa G, for finally realizing that I will be "living in sin" starting this fall. I'm not sure why all the sudden NOW it's a big deal, but apparently he's beeing trying to hunt down mom to get her to do something about it. What exactly that something would be, I don't know. I understand now why he asked me to come over to his house a day or two back. I typically avoid big trouble from adults, so this is almost a new experience. But also, I'm an adult. I'm worried mainly about just how upset grandpa G is, because he's my grandpa and I love him, and I'd hate to see this turn ugly.

The Good Stuff
With all this living with dave and unmarried issue comes a very calming feeling--a stubborn sort of sureness. First off, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I understand it's not my generation that has a problem with it. There are so many good things, for me, about having Dave around, even if you take anything "sinful" out of the equation. I mean, I'm alot safer with a big strong guy around, for one thing. Also, I won't be so lonely as I was in Columbus. I'll have someone to come home to, which makes all the difference in the world when you're in a new town and working too damn hard. Having him there is a great emotional and physical asset to my life--not to mention I'm retarded for him.

But I think it's best put this way: I am NOT going rush a marriage just to make someone else feel better about what their peers will think about them. I respect the seriousness of marriage, and Dave and I have committed to that path. But as I've said before, I want to have the time and the money to plan a real wedding. I mean, when exactly would I have time to plan a wedding, let alone finance the thing? Dave has debt and I'm scraping just to buy a freaking car. Money aside, I resent the idea of marriage as a quick-fix way to "keep shame off the family."

Anyway, mom and dad agree with me. They don't want me jumping into marriage, and furthermore they won't let grandpa force them to "do something about it." They say they feel the most valuable gift they can give to us kids is the chance to make our own decisions in life.

Bottomline: I'm an adult, my life is my own, sorry but I'm not changing it. And that's empowering.

Other good news: dad got a flake of rust removed from under his eyelid--so he is feeling sweet relief. Mom sold some shares of Merck, hopefully to buy her own car or fix ours, so she says that if we find a car, she will loan me the 3,000 I should get from my trust. So car plans are not thoroughly hindered. Dad gave me "Driving a Stardard" lesson two, where I shifted from 1st, to 2nd, to 3rd, and back down again---no stalling! Ok, I stalled in the parkinglot, but I'm finding starting the car moving is more likely to stall than when the car is already in motion. The whole clutch situation is becoming more intuitive.

BIG NEWS: DAVE AND I HAVE BEEN APPROVED FOR THE APARTMENT!!! Got the call today, amidst all the other drama, and they are sending the lease forms to me via mail. Sweet Jesus, thank God we have that taken care of. Otherwise, I would've needed drugs I think.

MOVIE NEWS: I did my first parent-free drive by taking don to the video store. We rented and watched "Tears of the Sun'" and "Adaptation." Tears of the sun in an excellent movie, although it required stomaching alot of violence and choking back alot of tears. Adaptation was a very intriguing movie. It is cleverly written, and makes you think about things like having strong passions for strange things, screenwriting, and evolution/adaption. I'd recommend it, although if I were you I'd read the review from The Filthy Critic, for a better idea of the movie. Finally, went out with Dave K. and Steph to the movies. Saw "Bruce Almighty." I'd say, don't waste your money and wait till it's a rental, but it's a decent, funny movie with a happy ending. Nothing more, nothing less.

Dave K. leaves for D.C. on wednesday I think. The floorplan for his apartment is called "The Madison," and the first trip his company is sending him on is to Madison, WI. I think that's weird enough to make note of. Two of mom's students are also named Madison. Oh yeah, and then there's that whole me moving to madison thing. . .

Pollack relatives coming through Wheeling on Tuesday!!!! BLING!

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