This Is Nothing

Insane Graduate School Edition

Friday, September 27, 2002

Thank god it's friday; goddamnit I have a physics exam

I think that basically sums today up for me. For some reason I feel like the bio department is cranky with me, but maybe it's just because I'm going through biology class withdrawl (I have like, a one-hour journal club for microbiology, then it's ALL math), and also I dreamt that Prudy was teaching a biochem seminar and she was patting and coddling Katie, Chris, and Spencer and basically ignoring me. Eh, it's an old insecurity of mine. I've often felt like maybe I shouldn't be in science. I mean, look at my freaking SAT's. . . I've got mad verbal skills, but my math was like, 560 at its best. SUXOR. But one day, I told Dave how I felt like such a fake, like I wasn't half as good as all the other folks and how they were destined for research greatness and I was just an english major in a labcoat. And he told me HE feels the same way in computer science. And then I realized probably EVERYONE feels this way from time to time. I once heard that the typical nightmare of many high-up successful people is that someone will finally figure out they don't know anything, that there's nothing at all different about them.

Insecurities man. . . . I think those are hobgoblins that many of us are familiar with.

It's yucky and rainy too today. This is a crappy friday. I've given poor Dave D. the plague, so now he's as sniffily and tired as I was earlier in the week. Some would say you hurt the ones you love. .. I would say you CONTAMINATE them. Sorry, dear prettty Mau'dib.

Finally: I have scheduled my GRE's, so now I just have to worry about taking them, as opposed to WHEN I'll take them.

Now I have to write a statement of purpose for the rest of my life, a list of biology related activities that I have participated in, calculate all my GPA's and request transcripts. . . and figure out 3 folks who can write recommendations for me. . . . .and THEN, I can apply for Grad school!