Stealing can be fun, and if I'm acting weird, it isn't because I'm sad

Physics lab in the morning, so my day from 8AM-12:30PM was swallowed up in cars on tracks and photogates. DAMN PHYSICS.

whew, ok :)

So I came back to Henry, lounged with Sam for a bit, and then went and took a delightful afternoon shower. I *could* have done physics homework, but I felt a shower took priority. Anything else would, over physics. So I got all cleaned and spiffed up, which was good because there was a big hefty afternoon ahead. Sprite showed up around 3PM, and I escorted him around 3rd Henry, extolling the marvels of the floor (It's a whole different place now. . . LOTR soundtrack was wafting through the halls! Guinea pigs roamed the lounge!) It was a little strange at first, but then I was really glad to have him here. He is a damn joyful person, and we need that right now. Down in the lounge, Tom was putting together a flower arrangement for Allison's service. It was made of field flowers: purple ironweed and a pretty yellow flower I can't identify. He was getting very frustrated, and I tried to offer my 4-H trained advice on the subject. Little known fact that I'm an avid flower arranger. So, I decided I wanted to bring flowers too. . . .

Problem was, I didn't have any flowers. So I grabbed a shoulderbag, and Sprite, and we went off for an adventure across campus! I needed flowers, many different flowers. So we made a giant loop, picking flowers from the big garden between Gerstacker and the library, wishing we could snip the rich purple blossom in front of Frohring (sp?). I laughed so hard when I tried to take those quickly. The stems just bent, and if I pulled, the whole bush would shudder. I had images in my head of pulling the whole thing out and taking that to the service. No can do, lady. My best stop was at the greenhouse, where the beautiful orange-red hibiscus were in bloom. I snipped two, and brought my booty back home to arrange. It turned out beautifully, and Kat put a SpongeBob Nudy-pants sticker on it, and it was perfect and done.

Allison's service WAS beautiful, and so necessary. The field station was at its peak, with everything still green but the air cool. It was too quiet when we got there, so Sam, Barrie, Adam, and I went around back to watch the herd of fish waiting for breadcrumbs stare at us. Sam threw rocks at them and tempted the Swans closer. It was a good place to be. Right before the service started, we were all seated in the Observation Building, and no one was speaking. Would Allison let it stay that quiet if she was there? I don't know, but I felt like jumping up and down and going "TALK! TALK!"

There were alot of things said about Allison that suprised me, and saddened me, because mainly I am sad for everyone's loss--including my own. There was alot to her, and I only saw one little part of it. Here are some snippets:
Allison was a strong woman
Allison was the ideal Puck
Allison was a serious student who wasn't always serious

I cried. I didn't want to--I'm so tired of crying--but these days I cry whenever I'm moved. This year. .. .that's a whole other rant. But it was wonderous and healing to be in a room full of crying people. To feel yourself welling up and shuddering and look around to see not one dry eye. It was finally ok to be sad, and it was time to be sad together.

I'm pretty sure Allison has already moved on. I'm hoping she gets to be something great, again.

I loved how she wasn't afraid to show joy, to be childish. So if I start acting loud, chatty, and weirder than usual, it's because she has given me the courage. I've been so concerned with how people would see me if I acted in such a way, but I think it's time to say screw that. But don't go looking for a change. I'm still self-conscious, and I don't need the pressure.