SLEEPING AT HOME--SUPERSIZED
My cohorts of the Red Tower of Death (see how I got that in again!) were amazed at my claimed ability to sleep 12 hours a day, no problem. Well, I've beaten that today! I, drowsy from dinner and chilled by my showered hair, fell asleep in mom and dad's cozy bed till Dad came in and kicked my out at midnight (this is typical in our family). So I stumbled downstairs, watched my brother play Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast multiplayer, jeered him as a big sister should, and eventually fell asleep on the couch (another passing out spot typical to our family). and now, well, it's past 11AM and I'm awake, and once again there's nobody around at all. BAH!
You know, Dave once said his ideal sort of living would involve being out in a cabin in the woods, not bothered by anyone. And today most fiercely I realize that I am the opposite. My dream life would be me living at the head of a big household, maybe even a castle where I was queen and I could surround myself with friends and we could all live together. Kinda like Henry Lounge is, although I'm not technically "queen" of the lounge or anything. I used to be so focused on good grades, a good job--success you know? But now I'm starting to find that good friends are much more rewarding. Could that have been the secret to success all along? Ach, I don't know. All I do know is that it's beautiful here, absolutely beautiful. Everything is early summer, calm and beautiful. And I'm not completely happy, because my friends are not here.
It's dangerous here, at times, because I have all the time in the world to just THINK. I've been thinking alot about relationships, in a vain effort to get things sorted out before fall comes around. And I've come to the conclusion that I have no fucking clue what my heart is trying to tell me, because depending on the time of day, the dinner I ate, the alignment of the planets. . . it's telling me something different. So I apologize, ahead of time, for whatever ridiculousness will result. I told my heart to shut up, and now it won't give me complete sentences. There's a lesson for ya.
Don't worry! Tomorrow mom comes back from her Wildflower Weekend with her crew "The Steel Rhodedendrons" . . . and she always make me feel better (and like certain other people, I never think I'll miss her, and then all the sudden I do).
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