Friday, November 25, 2005

SCAMALOT

Man, it took me a little while to decide on a title for this entry. This title was in a close race with “SCAMa-lama-ding-dong”

I mean, doesn’t that have a nice ring to it?

Anyway! My adventures in the quest for new housing continue. Just to review, I’ve had 3 responders to my online ad’s:

1. Someone who was coming to UW to learn English. It was an adventure reading that e-mail and I’m still not entirely sure they were female.

2. A girl, 18, who was moving to Madison to be with her boyfriend. The catch? She was looking for a “fun, friendly female to share an apartment with her AND her boyfriend.” And while that could prove intriguing, I didn’t think that would end up well for me and Sharon.

3. The most promising of the 3, who claims to be a professional model.

And it is entrant #3, friends and neighbors, which I will tell you about today!

Ok, ok, so it would be odd to have a professional model want to live in Madison, WI. But hey, it’s near enough to Chicago and airports that maybe, MAYBE it would be worthwhile to live here at a cheaper cost o’ living. At this point I’m skeptical, but entertained by the concept.

So I send this lady an e-mail explaining about the apartment, etc. , my hopes a little brightened that I might be able to land that sweet apartment with all utilities paid. . . And then I get a reply e-mail, and we get a little more background on mystery renter #3. She is from ENGLAND, but now living with her mother—who is a missionary—in Africa. But she really wants to move to the US and has job offers here. Oh the hopes and dreams of a young model! I envision her speaking with a crisp British accent about fried cheese curds, flying out of the Dane Co. airport to who knows where!

Ok, ok, so now you’re probably wondering, like me, what a professional model is doing in the meantime in Africa. Perhaps more red-flag-inducing, She also *generously* offers to pay a deposit on the apartment and seems extremely eager to do so, and wants to know the amount immediately. When I reply telling her that—LUCKY HER!—there would be no initial deposit needed, she still insists that she pay to it show she is *serious* about the place and to reserve it, because she has many modeling jobs at stake, including one in. . . . Tennesee?

I’m not saying that there AREN’T modeling jobs in Tn., but c’mon. And now she’s asking for and address and phone number so that a CLIENT OF HER MOTHER’S, who owe’s her money, can cut a check for the deposit and perhaps the entire lease.

CONGRATULATIONS AMBER!!! YOU HAVE ENJOYED A VARIATION ON THE CLASSIC AFRICAN CASHIER CHECK SCAM!!!

Ok, ok, so I can’t actually be sure this was a real scam. In fact, somewhere out there a Kathy Byrnes (kathy_byrnes@yahoo.com) may be frantically looking for an apartment in cheeseland so that she can get to those modeling jobs. If so, I’m sorry to give her the shaft by replying “no thanks” and not to e-mail me further.

But let’s suspend disbelief and pretend this IS a scam. Here are the common elements, as far as I can tell:

1. A female from Africa (no particular country, but somehow both rich and hot (model) or maybe just rich (princess).

2. Looking for an apartment in a city with no particular reason for wanting to live there. Mine wouldn’t explain why, even when I asked directly.

3. Has a mother in the picture. Ok, so we all have a mother, in theory. What’s interesting is that, from reading up on these scams, SOMETIMES the mother gets sick right when they cut you the check, and then she dies around the time the check is delivered.

4. Ahh, the check. Apparently how this scam usually works—regardless of why they are sending you a check, be it for a deposit on an apartment or down payment on a car, etc.—is that they write out a check for waaaaaay more than the actual price of whatever is in question, and then want you to wire back the difference. If there’s a dead mother involved, they may plead that you cash the check quickly so that they can pay for the funeral. Of course, the check is a counterfeit. And you’re screwed, with no way to actually get any recourse. And, in my case, I would be out craploads of money and STILL living in the same apartment.

I’m both really fascinated at this whole operation and kinda bummed that I still have no prospect for a roommate to take over my part of the lease. I mean, the e-mails were in very nice english, and were just weird enough that you could almost believe it. And from looking online, they follow a pattern of increasing urgency and info requesting. OH well. I think I may just have to ride it out and have the grand advantage of plenty o’ time to find a new place for Fall 2006.

3 Comments:

D the C said...

Thanks!
We are renting out a room in Portland, OR. Our inbox today included 2 obvious versions of the African Cashier's check scam, a possibly unrelated appeal for funds for African children, and an email from your friend Kathy Byrnes.
Dingo decided that, if she was really a professional model, he would be able to google her. So, google her he did, and he found no such model, but he did find your blog!
Thanks ever so much for saving us that headache!
If you don't mind, we'd like to write about it on our blog, and put a link to yours.
Thanks again, Caffeine Jones and Dingo Dizmal

12/24/2005 9:53 PM  
D the C said...

By the way, darlin', we are clowns, but not the least bit dangerous.
-CJ

12/24/2005 9:56 PM  
Anonymous said...

Thanx for the heads up. I had Kathy Byrnes, the model pull the exact same story on me!
- Sandee in Utah

12/30/2005 7:31 PM  

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