Getting older

Getting older is about dropping stupid hangups and finding new things to be afraid of.

Getting older is about bluffing everyone, even yourself, into thinking you are smart enough. And learning that's what everyone else is doing.

Getting older is about seeing more people as young.

Getting older is about more people looking up to you.

Getting older is about trying Love again even when you can't know it will be forever.

Getting older is about looking back and thinking you were so silly THEN.


Eeehhhh, life is pretty darn good right now. But it's getting near the fool moon and sometimes that makes me feel a little wonky and contemplative.

I think I'm really starting to live, as cliche as that sounds. Getting older, but I know 23 doesn't count as old. It's this newfound sense of ownership in my life that I'm digging. But of course, the happier and less-tortured I get the less artistic anything I type feels.

Lately I've had ocean fever and a touch of baby fever. Not want-to-have-a-baby fever, mind you. The wife of one of my labmates is due ANY DAY now. And I just find myself beyond excited for them, which is easy for ME to say since my life will change very little, and theirs so much. The ocean fever is this ever-growing craving for the beach. In my gut it grinds away and it's all I can do to keep the daydreams of me lazing about on a towel with the smell of sunscreen and sounds of the waves. . .

I'm so busy that the days fly by and the lecture courses are fraught with daydreams.

I handed back my first graded lab report for the lab I T.A. It was hard to have to give some poor grades. I can't define how being a T.A. and grading their work has changed me, aged me. But it has.