OH so cranky, but a good weekend despite it

As I have passed on from college and under-21-ness and into the realms of adulthood--where drugs of all kinds are more prevalent all around me--it intrigues me that some of the most mood-altering substances I've ever experienced are the home-grown, hormonal variety. I remember several cloudy years between jr. high and sr. high were I was legitimately not behind the wheel when it came to what I said or how I acted. Being a teenager stewed in hormones and confusion was a lesson in diplomacy, when you finally got control of yourself.

Thankfully, I now have wonderful things like caffiene to keep me awake and somewhat in control of my perkiness (aka, maybe a bit earlier). And that biological craziness has, overall, calmed down. But oh man, today was just a REALLY REALLY cranky day.

It started off quite pleasant--one of those slow-wake-up sundays, and I had the afternoon clear to do just whatever. These sorts of sundays are a luxury that is slowly dwindling. So I decided Ben and I should walk over to State Street and grab some coffee and see if the gaming store was open and get stupid card games.

Weeell, I forgot that I really don't like the gaming store on state street. It's so small that the minute you walk in the door you're practically face-to-face with the owner. Moreover, because of the limited space they only carry what they can sell really well, so alot of the cool and quirky games from smaller companies just aren't there (read: the games I want aren't there). And finally, I've got clerk issues. I know people are just doing their job, and I bet it's a sucky job the majority of the time. But I HATE OH SO MUCH clerks that hover around and listen in on your conversations every time you comment on one of their products and fire back with some pitch or argument. I like to shop in peace--and believe me: it's likely I will give you money if you leave me the hell alone!

So yeah, I was getting increasingly irrate in the store. And then the clerk turned up the music, and it was really crappy girl-pop music. And Ben wanted to buy two card games and I only wanted one. But I wasn't sure if he wanted me to pitch in for both or what, so I ended up snapping at him that I was NOT paying for two card games, and that I did NOT want two card games. Thankfully, we got out of there, but arguments ensued. I went to Einstein bros. bagels to get a sandwhich, and waiting in line I realized I really hated the people working there too. The whole place was crammed full of 18-20somethings. I was a bit scared at how much I missed old people. Cranky cranky cranky. We walked home, I stayed cranky. We worked to understand how to play the Legend of the Five Rings card game (which looks pretty awesome, but is pretty darn complicated when you are learning directly from the rule-tome). More crankiness. . . .. ehhhh cranky!

Well, I'm feeling better now. And actually, while being cranky sucks, it's kindof cool to be able to BE cranky. In my house, if you were cranky Dad wanted to know why, because that somehow was a problem. Mom ranged widely from extreme cheery to shriekin' mad, sometimes with little time in between. But it just feels so adult and honest to be pissed off. To not be afraid to argue and be a bitch. It's a transition in my life that is tangible, and I am really--somehow--proud of, even if I'm behind the times compared to other folks.