Soooo tired. ..

Really. Is anyone suprised? It's just been a really draining day. You see, I've got the mad spring fever when the sun is still up. I wore cute pants and cute shoes and had a good, fun day actually. Came home, played with my webcam (it's a shame that Skeletor refuses to stay in the same spot), got dinner. Then I went off to a WHRM meeting, and an AIBS meeting. After those, I cornered Vanessa and Katie to find out how there grad school searches were going. It's something I'm so thankful for: being able to sit down and share this common and traumatizing experience. We talked for about an hour, and I felt alot better about my current grad school situation (I'm getting a sweet stipend and tuition waiver), but I felt bad because these are people I respect as scientists and care about as friends. I think they deserve better than what life is handing them.

Vanessa and I walked back to the Hill together, and I finally admitted to her that when I first met her working at the field station, I was pretty much totally intimidated by her. See, turns out both of us wish we would have gotten to know eachother better. It seems like the senior-sad-wish-we'd-done-differently mood is fast approaching. At least we have a 3-week class in common, so hopefully we can still have some good times.

I guess this is the part where I should comment on the whole war issue. Frankly, I'm with Vanessa on this. I'm not going to go out and protest anything. Frankly, I'm not upset or worried, even though I do care about all the people involved on either side. Although sickly sometimes I wish something would happen so I wouldn't have to give my APEX on monday. . .

But deep down, I'm just tired. I've had to exert alot of energy to stay focused, and also attempt to channel my urges and wishes into more appropriate venues, and that's alot harder than I thought it would be. I wish I knew what the right questions were to ask myself. Like "hey Amber, what's really bugging you?" or "What's really important?" But I'm stuck not wanting to whine about stupid things or cause trouble, and at the same time starting to get really frustrated with life. But I guess that's how it be, friends and neighbors. . .