Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Homework, Apologies,another day at the Airport, and dreamings

"I mean, the human brain is a MARVELOUS thing! It begins working the day you are born, and it doesn't stop working until the day you need to take a test"
--Larry Becker, Physics Professor--

"I'll try to get that next problem set out to you by friday, so you can work on it over the weekend. Problem set day will be this monday."
--Brad Goodner, Immunology Professor--

So, the first quote I found very entertaining. Thanks to the complaints of Miss Stanley about being told not to memorize an equation, anyone who did memorize the equation for the last quiz got extra credit on it. . . and I would be one of those people. So good times in physics, actually. But the second quote almost gave me a nervous breakdown.

You see, I have a Neuroscience test on monday, the same day my thesis statement and original annotated bibliography for the presentation in Neuro is due. I also have to keep up in physics. I get back from Georgia this sunday, in the afternoon, and I doubt I'll want to do work as soon as I get to Hiram. So basically I'll be spending my sunday evening studying and preparing for Neuro. A problem set in immunology could easily take two days to complete. After adding this up in my head, my brain just overloaded, and I wanted to cry. Because I don't even HAVE the time to work on the problem set beforehand. I'll have to go in and act like I looked over things, which I hate. There are tons of underclassmen in that class, and they all have time to do all the reading and homework. . . and it sucks because I can't participate as much as I like because lately I've had to wake up early and try to cram in an hour of reading for the class each MWF--that's about the only time for it. Ok, so I take time up doing things like writing this weblog, but if I didn't I'd have broken down alot earlier. And tonight I needed to look up articles for the Neuro presentation, Do my physics pre-lab. Print the profiles of the faculty I'm visiting in Georgia, and also driving directions for the Canton Akron Airport. . .

Then I find out that the Canton-Akron airport is really an hour away. . .I always thought it was like, 40 minutes. And I realized my flight departs at 2:47, which means it will board at about 2:30 . . . and I can't get out of Hiram before noon. Ok, so it's not so bad. I'll leave at noon, get there around 1:00 and that leaves an hour and some minutes to go through security and all. And I already have my tickets so I could conceivably go through security and check in at the gate. . . it's really not so bad. Really.

But to sum it all up, I've been stressing and freaking out all day. It's silly, because I'm actually only missing one day of class a week. But I'm also missing a thursday afternoon, thursday evening, friday evening, all of saturday, and part of sunday--when I could be getting all this work done at a more leisurely pace. BLAH.

So I've been rather non-congenial for me all day. Been hyper sometimes, othertimes near crying, and even a littling sniffling here and there. I'm tired. I haven't gotten a week for some time where I could just breathe easy. Not that there's much else I could be doing. . .it's just that the stress is getting to me and I just want to have fun this last semester. I've been a jerk today too. Dave and Sam kept asking me what I wanted to do, what time, whether or not we should go to lunch, who would come to lunch, would Dave come with us to the airport? And I know they just wanted to know what's up, and I know that it's my responsibilty to get this organized. But I'm so tired. And if I get even a little upset and give up decision making, I come off sounding like I don't want people's help or I am mad or something. I just want to give up sometimes.

So tomorrow is another Amber at the airport day. I'm actually REALLY looking forward to the visiting U of Georgia. It looks like a great college town and the micro department looks equally great. My post-doc Cheryl told me they've recruited a really talented group this year. . . I'm going to get intimidated I know it. Oh well. What the heck am I gonna wear this time?

Well, I got my eight hours of sleep last night, so maybe things will feel better after another good night's sleep. Last night I dreamt I was in a room with Tom Bardwell, and I didn't have any clothes on and he was asking me if I thought the other guy in the room was cute. I think my brain cooked this up because before I went to sleep I saw that Dave was talking to Tom on AIM. Stupid brain. I hardly ever dream of fun things, or at least situations where being naked is fun. And whatever other "fun" things happen in my dreams, I'm usually too busy telling myself I'll get in trouble or I shouldn't do that or some other crap like that, instead of just enjoying them. It's just as frustrating as my driving dreams, which usally end with me crashing or my car falling apart, or me waking up and realizing I've been using Dave's feet for gas and brake pedals. But I guess I shouldn't complain, since Sam's dreams are more bizzare than mine and Dave usually dreams of mundane stuff. I'll take my futuristic-train-riding-alien-hunting-girl-on-girl-action-Velociraptor-invasion-taking-care-of-sea-monkeys dreams and be happy with them. Ok?

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