In Bad Taste. . .

Do people ever say something that's perfectly reasonable but it disgruntles you anyway? I'm sitting here thinking: man, that's great to know, but perhaps could you realize that maybe it's in bad taste? I understand I'm being ambiguous. I apologize, and Dave don't worry I know you're supposed to let me know when I'm being ambiguous

Sometimes I lament the fact that my journal is online. As much as I am exploring being honest and forthright this year, there are still several boundaries of impropriety I hate to cross. The first: being unecessarily sarcastic or mean. The second is letting my more vindictive side get reign over the keyboard. The third is revealing altogether too much information. So naturally there are SOME things that will just never make it onto this webpage--and if they did they'd be the moment I'm happily settled far away from the politics of Hiram.

Although maybe one of the best things about online journals is that you get to peek at the thoughts of people you know, and occasionally you might make a cameo in there. Sometimes you think you're in there but you can't be sure. It is perfect for fence-sitters like myself. But it would be rather cowardly of myself to bitch at someone while feeling safe that, while they might know who I was directing it at, they shouldn't feel offended since I MIGHT not be talking about them. So I will just do the best I can and express how frustrated I am about the whole topic, but in the morning I probably won't give a shit.

All I can say is that everyone has certain things about themselves of which they are critical. Sometimes you hold yourself up to a high, perhaps even unfair standard, and when someone else exhibits negligence of this standard, it pisses you off.

Like me, for example: It drives me NUTS when people cut line or do stupid things like stand in the middle of the utensil rack so that--despite the fact that there are several sets of forks/knives/spoons so that several people can get their utensils at once. . . we have to wait for the stupid bozo who doesn't take the time to think of other people. It pisses me off because, for some reason, having an efficient and thoughtful lunchline is important to me.

Something else that pisses me off is when people who basically don't care about anyone else's problems but their own get huge followings of compatriots. It pisses me off because I try so hard to be a good person, to be good to other people, to understand where they are coming from. I get pissed because I don't have to imagine what it's like to have a shitty friend who keeps you around if you're fashionable enough (I've had my fair share in the past). I hate people who unneccessarily break rules because I work so hard to follow them. . .
Basically, all of this getting pissed off is because, for me, I've spent 21 years trying to develop a framework of ideals and facts of life. I like to think that being kind and thoughtful will get your friends--it doesn't always, but I've been lucky. I like to think that being not an ass will win some portion of respect from my friends and peers--but I am told I should stand up for myself more often. Of COURSE, when things and people happen to contradict my theories, I get frustrated. When you like to pretend the world is a certain way, it's always hard to find out it can't be. But now it's late, I'm waaaay off starting topic, and it's time to go to bed.
Good Night!