Circle in the Sand

Oh dear lord, please excuse the hokey title. Want to think even less of it? Well it's actually the title of a Belinda Carlisle song that I really loved when I was little. Circle in the sand. .. round and round. . . .

Sundown all around
Walking through the summer's end
Waves crash baby, don't look back
I won't walk away again

Oh, baby, anywhere you go,
We are bound together
I begin, baby, where you end

HAH! I bet you didn't think I'd burst into song for a second entry in a row ;) I apologize, I'm getting ready to go bed and the sweet release of Extra Strength Tylenol is spreading out over my poor head. I had a horrible headache, I think a migraine, since all the lights were too bright and my eye felt like popping out of my head. BAH. I've just got songs on the brain, since last time. I find it especially cool that this song title came rather randomly out of my head, and here it is applicable to my life. Although, it's a love song, and in general a good love song applies to just about everyone.

Man, I like circles. I'm still contemplating getting my tattoo with circle and snake. It would be based on this:



although I'd want the snake a little more symmetrical. Yeah, I've been thinkin' deep. I made some progress on a story based upon the weird dream I had where I had escaped from a institution housing war refugees. It's of course very much more science fiction, and I'm trying not to borrow alot from "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood (a really fantastic book, btw). Thought alot about how, deep down, we're all made of four base pairs, and even deeper down we're all protons, neutrons, and electrons. . .too many science courses. . .

I wanted to get off my chest that I'm getting ready to celebrate the full circle of a strange year started in February. Man, I feel totally dumb to continually bring this up, but hey, this is what is on my mind. I've been checking my archives to get the timeline right. See, I've got to feel like I learned something: I'm always walking around thinking about how different a person I am now from a year ago. I mean, how did the Amber of January 27th feel and think? She didn't see anything coming, but is that any different from now? Actually yeah. I know now that freaking anything's possible.

And I've learned to stop clinging so damn tightly and blindly to things. I'm getting less jealous, less self-conscious. . . .I can just relax and love Dave to bits and not fret too much about it. I mean, I do sometimes, but you have to fret a bit. You've gotta confront the problems when they are small--which also means you need to recognize problems. That's alot harder than you'd think. But the point is, I can almost attain that state where my worries pass through me instead of infecting me. Very, very nice.