Christmas Eve-eve

I think C.E.E. should be a holiday unto itself, because x-mas eve itself is crazy, and x-mas day is even crazier. Christmas Eve-eve is happy and exciting and full of anticipation (who doesn't love that?).

Went to the mall again today. . . got that slightly sickening feeling that comes with spending lots of money very quickly. Then of course, came the inevitable bad idea of shopping for more pants. I have this idea in my head that I have far too many shirts and not enough pants, you see, so I thought with all the sales today would be the day to solve this problem. So of course I wound up with only one pair I liked--wondering if in fact Kat already has a pair of them and I'll end up copying her--and a hefty blow to my self esteem as even 13/14 pants didn't really fit all that well. I know I'm being a total girl here, but it's disturbing when your body image swoops and shrinks and globs depending on what mirror you look in. For one thing, pale chicks look absolutely frightening in fluorescent store lighting--all your blue veins become brighter (your skin is too pale to cover them) and the downward lighting shades your body in strange ways. Usually I walk around thinking I'm damn hot stuff--I blame it on being a leo--but moments like this, when I look at hips that used to sit comfortably in 5/6 clothing now demand greater than 13/14. . . I feel more schizoid than Dr. John Nash in "A Beautiful Mind." Who is this person? Where did these pads of padding come from? Is this healthy? Am I supposed to look like this?

Mom tried to cheer me up by taking me to shop in the nicer stores (I was at the time shopping in a cheaper store, were I DID happily purchase a 1 dollar skirt). But I knew none of the juniors stuff was going to fit. I would be lucky to find an 11/12. Mom suggested the misses section, and I just flipped out a bit. It isn't fair. I'm 21. I shouldn't be damned already to elastic waistbands and uber-tapered leg jeans which make me look 40. I knew I was exaggerating, but you get what I'm saying. Seems like I went straight from teen to middle aged. So I guess I've gotta get my act together, and/or quit whining. ..

In much better news: I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED TO THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN MICROBIOLOGY DOCTORAL PROGRAM! Sproiiiing!!! They sent me an e-mail saying so, and inviting me to come interview. Taking this into account, I'm betting I'm accepted to University of Georgia already, since they extended a similar offer. ROCK ROCK ROCK. My top two choices already looking good.

Also exciting: My parents, at least says my mom, are getting new bedroom furniture, and mom wants Dave and I to have their pretty mahogany antique bed. This makes me excited. There is also the prospect of me getting a dining room set from my Aunt Donna--she has yet to claim it and also does not want it, as it is "southern-tropical" in appearance and she is striving for a spartan look in her little cabin in Vermont. So this also makes me excited. I'm dying for a little place of my own to share and decorate with Dave. *BIG BIG SIGH*

Sorry, I know it's ooshy-gooshy cute.