Amber, on Weddings

Ok, so I woke up today at 2PM (oh the joy!) to discover the pollacks were invited to a wedding, at 3:30PM. So I got all dolled up and we headed down to Warwood. What follows is my critique of said wedding. Because after all, I am a girl, and all girls are experts on weddings by this point in their lives. Why? Because we're at that age where lots of our peers are married or thinking about it. Time is short my friends, and after Prom, this is the big dress-up event!

The church was nice, very small but pretty. I didn't like the flowers. The music left much to be desired, as the organ-playing was shaky at best and there was some old guy singing hokey songs about wild roses at his feet. There was at least one baby per pew, which meant that throughout the ceremony they would each take shifts screaming and being carried off. The best part was the people watching. All the moms on one side of the church had several tattoos each and went outside to smoke after the ceremony en masse. Several of the dads had loooooong Rock and Roll hair. The vows and homily were very nice, but far more christian than I'd ever think about doing.

It is at this point I would assert that I judge weddings often by how they compare to "what I would do at my own wedding"

The reception was perhaps the worst reception I've ever been to. Seriously. Someone decided that after a 3:30PM service, the reception should start at 6PM, which was ok, except dinner was not until 7:30---at which point everyone was ferociously starving (including me) and rather bewildered. We blame the photographer, as the decision was made to do all the dancing first, throw the garther and bouquet, and cut the cake, BEFORE DINNER. It was just plain stupid. It was all so the photographer could get pictures of staged events, instead of just letting the wedding happen and taking pictures as these things happened. it sucked. I was starving, and this couple is going to have pictures of unnatural situations.

It is hard to describe my frustration with this single mistake. Everyone was just cranky and tired.

The last thing of note, which may sound silly, was all these people changing into jeans and tank-tops for this formal reception, which was held in a lovely banquet hall. It just kinda cheesed me. That for this event that must have cost so much money to throw, a groupe of people were walking around in backless tank tops and hip huggers. Ick. I feel old.

What can we learn from this wedding? Give your people food. Don't starve them, because starved guests are unhappy guests.

One other thing: what ever happened to live music? Dad and I both lament the decline of live music at events such as these. Someday, if I have the choice, there will be rocking live music at my reception, dammit!!! All in all, I think that weddings should be joyous fun events--if you can't celebrate the joining of two people in love, what CAN you celebrate? The point, I think, is to have a good time with your new family, not impress everyone with settings and pictures. *sigh* oh well.

When it came time to throw the bouquet and garter, my brother and I sat it out, and vowed to my mother that I was becoming a nun and Don was going to be a monk.

"A fighting monk" he corrected. Oh well :)

Tomorrow is Don's graduation party!! wish me luck, as I am in charge of music!

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~rshereda/sorority/