Twitterpated

This weather, this heavy heat weighed down with all the blooming of spring. . . it's affecting people. Today I looked out on campus and saw PEOPLE--can you believe it? People lying about, enjoying the weather, enjoying the company of friends. It's more than nice; it's lovely. Followed a group of merry drunks up the hill just five minutes ago, and I don't know how, but they were contagious. It's easy to get high, drunk, and sedated on this weather. It's so hot, and everyone emerges from this horrible winter in their new spring clothes. Everyone and everything looks so beautiful, and man, I'm just in awe of it. I can't forget the events of February, but they dull and go grey in comparison with this.

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer."
-Albert Camus

Today is a quotey kind of day. I want something profound to say, but part of being relaxed and content means not thinking to much, so I borrow a bit. It's all about letting go, this time. It used to scare me, this sense of letting go of the things that upset me and just floating away from it all. . . but now it's a relief. Will Dave want to stay with me? I can't care anymore. I just can't, and by "can't" I do mean "won't." That's just one thing I have to let go of if I'm really going to live. I can't worry about him. I can't worry about whether or not someone will change their minds, or whether or not he'd leave if he finally got the chance he was hoping for. I can't worry about whether or not I'll end up alone in life--which is the big big fear. I can dream about being happy, and that's about it.

But it's dreaming weather, I think.

Sitting quietly, doing nothing,
spring comes and the grass
grows by itself.
--Zenrin