SELF-HYPNOSIS / SELF-DELUSION / SELF-CONTROL?

You take your pick. I'm sticking with self-hypnosis. Repeat after me brain: I don't care.

He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees the ghosts.

I don't care.

I don't care.



For now, I believe it. And it's nice. I am here and not here, and that fucking sounds loony! Ok, what I'm saying is, I have to become like a window, through which things pass. I communicate, but I am not changed drastically. I don't care. It's meditative, sort of profound, but mainly it's so freeing. For the time being, I would do best just to live and not work against the will of day-to-day events. I'm taking a hiatus from soap operas. I'll move backstage for awhile.

So here's how I live, shrugging my shoulders & answering all my questions the same way: For now, I don't care. It's probably all a lie, but for now, I'll take that.

Today was a really freaking fabulous day though. I went out with Nick, had a simply wonderful time. It's been a long time since I had a joyful uncomplicated day. I'm thankful for this--I guess whoever's in charge of life IS giving me a break. I know it's a temporary respite, but I'll take that as well. Thank You.

Tomorrow is another day--and a busy one at that. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day, yes.

And the drone in your voice and the fly on the wall
said it's over it's over it's over it is.
And what can I wish for you?
What do I wish?
It's over, It's over, it is.

And are we all, still solemn and bleeding?
And are we still swimming to water that was wet?
You can't give away certain things that you get.
--Lisa Loeb, "It's Over"