STRRRREEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS

ach. Why can't I just give this presentation right now so I don't have to think about it? I hate presentations. No matter how prepared I am for them, I hate the anticipation of waiting for them. It's stressing me out, and now is a time in my life where stress is the lemon juice on my papercut you know? The problem is. . . well, now I have to depend on myself to calm me down. nobody else. Damn. Damn. Had a long conversation with myself last night, about alot of things. Mostly stuff I've said or typed over and over again, but these days there's nobody to hear my late night chitterings, but me. Or at least, that's something that I shared, and now it's one of those things I can't. That was for you. ach. I'm too stressed. And I don't know who I need to do right by besides myself.

I hope Sam is ok. Maybe he'll talk to me tomorrow. Hopefully, by this time tomorrow, I'll be so relieved and giddy. But today I feel yucky. Stress used to be more fun. Now I don't have the strength for it.