Night Time Musings

Why can't I just have someone to nap with? I mean, right now, it would seem just enough to have someone to share a bed with. That's all, nothing naughty meant by it. It would be so wonderful just to have someone else *there*. But it just wouldn't be a simple thing. It would involve finding someone who was ok with it, who I wanted to be there, who wouldn't mind the inevitable rumours. More than that, is such an arrangement even possible? Who knows, it's likely one of those improbable solutions of the minute. Besides, my room is a freaking mess.

Night time, it's the time when a person really feels most alone. Every night, going to bed alone, fighting a losing battle with the cold. . . missing the nights I spent up with Dave, just laughing and being silly. I miss falling asleep feeling warm and cozy and safe. Night time is the worst time. And in my heart, I get the feeling that it will be a long time before I have someone to share that time, in the space between waking and sleeping. An empty space in my life, and in my heart.

Ok, so enough of the weepy depressedness. I'm frankly so busy all the sudden I hardly have time to dwell on these things. I don't know how Dave is doing, but I know I'm kicking ass. Taking names. Easing into single life, which doesn't seem to be such a big deal for the people who've been here for awhile. But for me, it's been more than two years, and even before that I was usually dating off and on. Soooo. . here I am. I've gotten two internship offers--one of them notified me today and expect an answer by Friday. Doesn't seem like the best business policy to me. Oh weeelll. Now my options, aside from Hawaii, are Case Western Reserve and a research center in upstate New York (working on nanobiotechnology!). Who knows where I'll end up, this summer is as far as I like to think