Ok, so let's get this thing started.

First off, with my parents coming to visit this weekend, plus a field trip for Chinese New Year. . . things generally start infringing on my weekend, of which I already have stopped counting Sundays--they usually involve as much schoolwork as the weekdays. But perhaps it is good that I will be busy, as life has decided, once again, that things were too boring the way they were. In a way, it makes me feel downright *young* again to be in a personal crisis ( I was beginning to think I had outgrown them). But all the same, the past entry rather summed up the theme of these two days well: YUCK.

Because I don't know who the heck is reading this, I'll avoid some tender details, and give you a nice overhead view of my situation: My boyfriend is having a quarter-life crisis. But as to what is really the problem, I'm not getting into, as that's more his area of expertise. This page is here for me to vent, and dammit I will.

What it all boils down to is this: we're taking a month off from eachother.

When I younger, my dog Pepper would sometimes get to come inside during a thunderstorm. She'd curl up in a corner and just look at you with these concerned, coon-hound eyes. And when the storm was over, you knew it was time to let her out. . you would open the door, and she would just look at the outside, look at you, look at the outside again. She would just stand there, trying to figure out what to do next. Take this tender metaphor and transfer it to me like a bad temporary tattoo. It's how I feel. I'm rather relieved we've settled on some sort of action considering the situation, really.

But now what? Dave's e-mail basically tells me he knows he's being dumb but he'd like a month off and during that time, for me there will be no questions asked. it's about 25% exciting, and still 75% numbingly weird. All the sudden, for a month, I have no boyfriend. And there have been times I have wondered what that would be like again. But unlike Dave, who is seeking some personal freedom. . . I have no desire to go out and "find myself" or be wild and crazy. at least, I don't feel I need to go very far for any such thing to happen. The only possibility is dating other people. . . but for one thing the dating pool here is pitifully low here at Hiram, and for another in the back of my head there is the voice yelling "They aren't Dave." I'm just staring out the open door. I'd rather just stay where I was.